energybomb

energybomb @ 2006-06-07T20:48:00

2006-06-07T19:49:23Z

You scored as Tommy Lee. You are Tommy Lee!

The Motley Crue bad boy who likes picking fights and wearing pvc and facepaint!.......Although you have the sense to film you supermodel girlfriend suckin you off!

</td>

Tommy Lee

100%

Slash

80%

Billie Joe Armstrong

70%

Kurt Cobain

65%

Ozzy Osbourne!

45%

James Hetfield

40%

Jimi Hendrix

35%

What Bad Ass Rock Legend Are you? *with pictures*
created with QuizFarm.com

Fuckin right, I didnt even rig this one!

energybomb @ 2005-12-16T18:49:00

2005-12-16T18:49:33Z

http://www.poster.net/distillers-the/distillers-the-brody-dalle-3700840.jpg

get me one

just fucking get me one......

I love her!

energybomb @ 2005-11-23T11:37:00

2005-11-23T11:39:00Z

Lottie runs like she's shit herself!

My year

2005-09-28T16:38:13Z

Fuck yeah, i have mondays and fridays off !!!!

This calls for a celebration :D

The Gaz shall return.......

2005-09-16T15:52:46Z

Fuck yes I passed my resit! Met up with my personal tutor today and was told that i'd passed, JUST! I literally got 40% and that there was enough there to justify me carrying on next year, and shes gonna help me out with the grammar aspects of the course. So it looks like I'm kosha baybeeeeeeeee.

However all this has come at a price, I've been feeling like absolute WANK since i've been back, not at all gazXcore. mainly this resit has been playing on my head, as i'd be fucked up the arse if i got kicked out of uni. I'd been having horrible fuckin nightmares about me dying and seeing my dead body.....and another wierd one where I actually went into this like palace in heaven and it was huge.....a massive golden throne and all cloudy and stuff. seriously, no joke. made me reconsider my views on religion, i went to church the other day in leamington. found it pretty comforting, i dont give a flying fuck what anyone says. it works for me, so fuck you.

I'm so excited about this coming year now, i feel as if a massive weight has been lifted from these shoulders :D :D :D

Casper will you help me learn drums? I wanna become the next tommy lee. I know we've discussed this......but could half an hour a week be alright? i'll be learning out of books and stuff as well, i just really wanna fuckin do it. I'll buy you lots of drinks at socials as a thank you :D

Fuck yeah! I'll be back ;)

energybomb @ 2005-08-30T11:12:00

2005-08-30T10:12:43Z

O b s e s s i o n.

D e s i r e.

D e p r e s s i o n.

energybomb @ 2005-06-13T03:17:00

2005-06-13T02:52:13Z

As the end of term is approaching on the horizon, i'm becoming more and more fucking unhappy...... as I know this summer is gonna SUCK. working a shit job, living on my own on campus (boooo) and just making ends meet. bah, real life sucks, especially this fuckin fake life here on campus. so wierd. looking forward to leam next year, i miss urban life and the wheeling and dealing i used to encounter on the misty mancunian backstreets. still, i hope some people are around (like my surrogate older sister, the bluest lou)or within reach so i can come and see y'all to combat my projective loneliness.

tonight was tim's party and it was pretty cool, sounds stupid but i wasnt really in the party mood when i got there, i was quite happy to chat and mingle. and that i did, the more booze i put down my neck, the more i thought about Laura. gah.....i'd give up all the girls/stories just to go out with her. how many more frogs do i have to kiss before i get the princess :p ? fuck it, should i just do something about it? hmmmm......but as i said to bird, nikki sixx never got rejected. neither is gareth williams.

this song doesn't half remind me of myself/the laura.
why am i obsessed with her? she doesnt like anything i do. but........

her smile solves the worlds problems
she's smaller than me (not hard)
the things she says make me giggle
stability
shes hot as fuck
the thought of her makes me smile

*sigh* i got it bad havent i? just when i thought the days of emo-whinging were behind me, and i was getting settled back into the motley 'fuck anything with tits' with my homeboy Timbob. i work so hard, will i ever get my fucking reward? as they say, these things come when you least expect them.

check this song out, it pretty much gets y'all into the frame of my very mind :

"So Fine" - Guns n Roses

How could she look so fine
How could it be she might be mine
How could she be so cool
I've been taken for a fool
So many times
It's a story of a man
Who works as hard as he can
Just to be a man
who stands on his own
But the book always burns
As the story takes it turn
An leaves a broken man
How could she be so cool
How could she be so fine
I owe a favor to a friend
My friends they always come through for me- Yeah
It's a story of a man
Who works as hard as he can
Just to be a man
who stands on his own
But the book always burns
As the story takes it turn
An leaves a broken man
If you could only live my life
You could see the difference you make to me- To me
I'd look right up at night
And all I'd see was darkness
Now I see the stars alright
I wanna reach right up and grab one for you
When the lights went down in your house
Yeah that made me happy
The sweat I make for you
Yeah...I think you know where that comes from

Well I'd look right up at night
And all I'd see was darkness
Now I see the stars alright
I wanna reach right up and grab one for you
When the lights went down in your house
Yeah that made me happy
The sweat I make for you
I think you know where that comes from

in other news, i made THE nicest pasta bake in the world ever. and i have whiplash

love :)

energybomb @ 2005-06-08T10:54:00

2005-06-08T09:55:02Z

Rancid

Thank You

energybomb @ 2005-06-06T08:35:00

2005-06-06T07:38:19Z

Instead of revising for my last exam, I decided to spend last night round Sarah's in Emscote. Got home at 5 am, hungry and tired. Havent gone to bed, and i'm doing some last minute revision for my exam at 930. Ive revised two topics for this exam, and if they dont come up - im fucked. i need to answer two questions out of a shit load, but theres a question for each topic usually (looking at past papers) so i should be fine and dandy. shouldnt i?

tonight should be fucking wicked, gonna get my head down after this exam - then get ready for tonight.

i'll do a decent update when i fkin feel like it.

love y'all

G xxx

Losing my sleeeeeeeeeeep........

2005-04-22T04:20:42Z

....so ive just come past the humanities at 4.30 am, and who do i see? the lovely Yolanda who is now sitting next to me in the computer grid place on campus, i'm entertaining her by looking up stupid things on google with her name. im single, i can do these things :(

good opportunity to catch up with tim, casp, liam etc at tim's party, sorry i couldnt stay longer - the colliseum called me......

another sian update due soon, as usual its a fucking rollercoaster.........interesting to see when im allowed to take the seatbelt off and get off the ride hey?

see y'all at spandex, im trying to find that red eye stuff like my chemical romance and bert mccracken from the used wear..........help me girls!

and a special note to yolanda, you kinda smell dude. sorry.

C'mon......

2005-04-13T02:28:24Z

Yo....

After my lengthy post of doing Yolandadadadadada's questions I'm gonna keep this shorter.

Things are getting better folks....money is sorted and i have some stability in that field. I've also gotten to know two very decent people at the mo, and its fucking great speaking to them.

As for sian....well, its her personal business, but fuck it - she messed me around. Turns out she had a boyfriend all along, and she had an abortion last month. Seriously business y'all agree, but I'm not giving her any sympathy. She led me on before, during, and after the abotion. It wasnt a comfort thing that she did after she'd had it done, I could understand that to an extent. But to lie about having a boyfriend? Cmon guys. The girl isnt right in the head to lie about all that, I asked her if she had a boyfriend.......and said no. Gives me shit like "you're good for me gaz, you make my life better." At the end of the day she seems like a leech, she gave me so many empty promises that I dont know if I actually got to know the real her. I did, and she is a flawed person, please believe. I've tried to help her, but I can't help her fix herself. But at least I can say i've tried. I feel for her, she's been thru a lot. But NO excuse for fucking me over. Another failed relationship :(

I'm never gonna bother with women again, in that sense. I dont need a long term thing, I'll stick to my random shit. No ball and chain here, altho I do want my Nancy :( [*RIP* Sid] Fuck it, if Morrissey can live without, so can I. I grew up 2 mins from his door, I think we suffer from the same shit yknow. Any Smiths/moz fans out there can sympathise.......so as women have failed me, I'm gonna return to my life of decadence. Granted, straight-edge decadence. But its all good

Smile y'all, and be grateful :)

G x x x

Question Time

2005-04-13T01:45:40Z

What's up my people?

I robbed this from yolandadadadadada (mummy duck) and so I'll share it on, like an STD.

What to do:

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me".
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions and leave the answers as comments on my LJ also.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

And now to answer mummy duck's lovely Q's:

Are you sitting comfortably? Cool, then we'll begin :)

1. If you could have any superpower, which would you choose and why?

I really wanna fly, it just looks so cool :D and imagine the money you'd save on getting the bus. you could tap your arse like they do on the asda adverts everytime you flew to coventry (saving of £1). plus you'd look pretty cool, and you could shit on people and get away with it.

2. What person has had the biggest influence on you (for better ot worse), and how?

I wanna say the Lottie/Bird coalition that made me lower myself to the sick levels I could only imagine of, but in my heart of heart's tis my boy Jacoby Shaddix. I first heard papa roach when I heard a demo of 'dead cell' fucking yeaaaaaaaaars ago, and it's been love since then. I've seen the boys 8 times live and I am very proud to say that I've met my hero, and we spoke for a whopping hour and a half about life and everything. Ive got the photo on my desk to prove :) Every p roach song sounds like it was written for me or about my life, apart from last resort (i havent self harmed or tried to kill myself). If any of y'all really wanna get in my head, listen to 'blood' on the GAWM album....fuck, also 'thrown away' is my personal anthem. I'm gonna sound like a stalker here, but I have met him so he did confirm it : we've had the same upbringing (listen to broken home, 'cept mummy wasnt there for me, daddy was), we share the same struggles. We both have/had ADHD as a kid, we're both uncontrollable sometimes, we've both had alcohol problems and we like to make ourselves sick in front of people to gross them out. And we dont give a fuck about other people who dont matter in our lives. Most importantly, we're both still alive. I can't thank that man enough, his lyrics have inspired me in so many ways. Viva la cucharuca!

3. When you look back on your life in 10 years time, what do you hope to have accomplished by then?

Finishing these fuckin' questions..... I'd just like to hope that I've done alright by myself and my friends, yknow what I'm saying? I dont give a shit about money, or what i own, or wear, or drive. I just want to feel happy that my friends are doing ok, and then in turn myself. I'd like to hope i'll have achieved my dream of a record contract and a UK tour by then (cmon thud and jazz hands!) and i'll have done my bit for charity. I've had hard times myself, but they werent a matter of life or death. I'm grateful to be given the chance to be alive, i havent forgotten that. I wanna give my bit back, and I will do in time. Gotta remember, there's always someone worse off than you. Always. I've been homeless, I've drank more than anyone should......but i'm still here. Believe me, i'm grateful.

4. What do you think is your best personality trait?

Loyalty.Once you're my friend, you're my friend for life. I've never fallen out with anyone (except that cocksucker lee, who did me wrong) and I always do right by my friends. I'm a man of my word, and if I promise something I'll deliver. I just like the fact people believe they can rely on me, it's a nice feeling to have. I could've put CRaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaZy or MaaaaaaaaD up here, but I didnt wanna be predictable. I guess my second best trait is my unpredictability, i'm stupidly late for stuff (band practices tim?) and people never really know what to expect. Kinda like my life. Better than knowing exactly how its gonna go, right? The day my life and lifestyle becomes comfortable, someone shoot me. Please. I beg you.

5. Are you governed by your instincts or facts? Give an example of a situation.

Oooooooh............instincts, definately. I'm not sure what controls your instincts....but I always follow my heart. When i decided to leave a violent home and come to uni over easter, a big thing for a first year, I was following my heart. It was the right thing to do. I was depressed as fuck when i first came back, but i've found my feet. I'm here to stay, and not letting any shit drag me down. oh, it's on!

That's it guys, i'm gonna post an update as well but i'll do that in another box.............

Love y'all

From ashes to ashes.....we all seem to fall down....

2005-04-04T23:30:59Z

.....where do I take this pain of mine?

This is officially the lowest I've ever felt, I dont think I could ever comprehend the level I'm at now. I wont bore you with the details......but this is gonna be a hard one guys. I havent slept last night, hardly eaten, have the biggest headache. and ive never felt more on edge in all my life, I feel like my life is going to come to an end and I dont know why. I'm tired, weak and I feel like shit. I'm not looking for sympathy (despite me posting it in my lj) i just want to document this feeling. hopefully i'll be able to look back and laugh, but right now this is fucking unlivable. Low? I'm on empty.........
Sorry to people if I've been distant, my head is like a minefield at the moment.

Keep it real

energybomb @ 2005-04-03T02:39:00

2005-04-03T01:56:55Z

"Destination unknown............ruby ruby ruby ruby soho!"

Fuck I love that song. Fuck I love punk. Real punk.

Wow, I've actually stayed awake for longer than 12 hours today, result! Got up early to watch my beloved Man City draw 2-2 against Charlton in Rootes social, bastards got a last minute equaliser. Hope you're happy with yourself david james, you twat. TWO goals you cost us, you cock.

Ears are still ringing from the Robert Plant gig. FuCK was it good, granted i had one of the best seats in the house, but that man can still rock. I have a huge ass story abotu what happened when i met him on the various encounters that i ran into him, but i'll save that another time. Bird knows the story, i told her on the stairs in the marketplace. oh, and i also got casper the autograph I promised him.

The pope died man! Hasn't really affected me to be honest, i'm not gonna claim that I'm gutted or anything. but he was a good man, i read in the papers what he's done. a good bloke, r.i.p. my man.

Man i'm too tired to type, gonna watch my sex pistols dvd and hit the sack.

Catch y'all laterz xxx

With my back against the wall.......

2005-03-31T23:13:42Z

Dang.....

Am I the only miserable person out there? Am I the only person out there? Sometimes it feels like i'm on a lighthouse in the darkest sea......

I'm constantly tired and i have no idea why, i'm spending waaay too much time on my own which is a big-ass problem. listening to the smiths in the dark (because of that STUPID BLINKING FUCKING LIGHT) is hardly gonna make me full of smiles is it?

Gah....another battle of mind games with Sian today. The usual small-talk bullshit that she makes, 'cept i happened to mention an ex gf that came up to see me the other day, and i sent her a pic of this ex to make her jealous (this ex is WAY hotter than sian, please believe). and she was like "aww shes pretty" and went "thank god ive got my guy" and put a pic of some random dude on her msn display pic. bullshit? i think so, never been mentioned before......more mind games. i wanted it this way i guess, mind games are something i'm particularly good at. but only to defend myself when ive been hurt. why doesnt she just fuck off? she led me on and then acted suprised when i asked her out. she makes all the first contact still, i havent text her/rang her/emailed/msn'd her.......but she does it all still. fuck knows. only god knows why. where's my nancy when you need her?

I'm glad to read that everyone's feeling good at the moment, it does actually cheer me up. i guess that i'm balancing out the emotions of the world with my ultra-gloom :p i'm convinced im gonna be the poster boy for anti-love,anti-drinking,anti-everything kids one day.

Gotta see all the hardship people tomorrow *nervous* FUCK!

Gonna keep plugging away, i refuse to be brought down by this. but sometimes it would feel easier to walk away from all of this.

The Battle Rages On.........

2005-03-29T01:14:34Z

......wow this LJ thing is pretty damn cool!!

Been a good day, got up at 4 so it hasnt really started yet. Sent my dad a really really shit email, telling him to fuck off basically. you do not do that to your own flesh and blood, cutting him out of my life. I dont feel any real anger/apathy towards him, its more towards my mum. my dad's just making me be a man and in a way is helping me out, my mum is just trying to hurt me. fuck her.

Asked Sian out, only to get knocked back! Silly me eh? Only rang me every night for 2 hours, wrote letters to me, acted really nervous (in a cute way) around me and EVERY man and their dog told me to ask her out. she even rang me up the other night asking what side of the bed i slept on and that we're compatible. all this shit, leading me on. shoulda seen the letters she wrote me..........so wanker here goes and asks her out. "did i give you any signs?" "what does this mean for our relationship now?" fuck off, and grow up. seriously, why do i bother with women? how can you lead someone on like that? whatever. what comes around goes around, and when i see her at the colly bawling her eyes out, i wont wanna know. its her loss, doesnt know what shes missing :) she is a ZERO. this is about the 3423420384723402734th time this has happened to me at warwick, never manchester. ahh well, more experience points. and i finally do know what it is to burn.......

Bird came over before, laughs a plenty as usual. as i type this im still laughing at the "he just lies there" and "he wears that fucking hat that always blows off"................ :)

Working thru the new Code of Energy stuff as we speak........thinking of renaming and retheme-ing one of the songs, same riff : new idea. feeling very very good about COE at the mo, changes are needed, and they're needed from me. i'll do the best for the band.

Keep kicking ass y'all

Chronicles of Life and Death

2005-03-27T19:57:53Z

Current Mood : Unknown :s
Current Music : Getting Away With Murder (album) - P Roach

Wooooooooooah my lord, my own lil space for my head in cyberland. right on!

It's been a week to forget, that's for sure. I'm gonna let y'all in my head, got a seatbelt on? We'll begin.........

WHERETHEFUCKDIDITALLGOWRONGANDLEAVEMELYINGHERELIKEABIGMOTHERFUCKOFAMESSWITHABSOLUTELYNOTHINGTOKEEPMESANE

*phew* thats the anger out, now for the rational side of me......

it's been fair to say that my life has changed, i have reached that inevitable crossroads in life and i have no fucking clue where to turn. 'i hate it all, why, why, why me?' to quote a mr j.hetfield from metallica in the unnamed feeling. I've been officially disowned/kicked out from my family, i have no family, no contact with any members of them. Fair play, i never really felt like i belonged to them anyway. i thought i'd set up a direct debit to the uni (when i first joined)for my accommodation and all that jazz........turns out i hadnt. the uni (in their wisdom) decide to contact me in feb to tell me this, and that i owe them X amount of money. X is a large figure, leading me into an abyss of shit. a lot of shit. the uni then rings up my house, without me being there, and tells my parents. i get home, get a fucking earful and a shit load of violence. parents decide to kick me out and get a load of harsh words from my mum (no change there then!). according to her, i should never have been born, shouldve been aborted, and i'm never welcome at the house or the family again. few hours later, i was back on campus in cryfields until the start of term......3 weeks and counting. at least i have a refuge here, away from all the shit back home, but its so fucking lonely and depressing actually on my own on the whole of campus that i want to shove my fingers in the plug sockets. many props to the uni for putting me up, and theyre sorting out some repayment plan, but i have to go and see some lady next week about that. hopefully that'll pay off and i can get my life back on track. so why am i so fucked up at the moment?.......................the 'realisation' that i am my own family. i have nothing to rely on apart from myself and my friends. that's hard to let go of, i'm effectively divorcing my family. add to the fact i'm on my own 99.9% of the time, and all this piss and vinegar inside of me at the moment, it doesn't add up to a beautiful cocktail right now. the fuckers even sold my guitars/gear............bastards.

But i'm looking at the positives. I'm gonna just sing in [code of energy], meaning i'll have time to actually develop a voice.ive already started, and the results are pretty cool so far........

I've got this girl, sian on the case.............i'm gonna ask her out when i next speak to her. the signs are pretty good, and with my given situation, ive got fuck all to lose have i? if she says no, fuck it. if not, i have a girlfriend. he who dares........

I'm making waves in terms of my quitting of my addictions. I've given up cigarettes, not forever but just for now. i dont need them right now. as for alcohol................that's gone for life i hope. i'll throw my hands up, i was fully addicted.......i HAD to have alcohol in order to have a good time, its that simple. i was using it as a crutch to lean on, if i wanted to go and speak to some hot girl, i'd have to down a couple of shots first. i'd drink whatever mood i was in, from happy to sad. i dont need to feed myself lies anymore or lean on something that is so negative. alcohol is not a friend, it is a dangerous fuckin thing. i'm glad ive realised that i had a problem with it, many will think i'm overreacting but a lot of what i did was behind closed doors. sobriety is a hard place to be in man, constant ridicule on nights out, but i know i'm doing good for me. fuck anyone that puts me down for it. gonna need your help guys!!

As for my parents........what can i do with that? i've closed the book on them, they were never there for me (in 19 years)and i'm just gonna have to accept that. i will not be held down by anyone, i'm gonna do whats best for me and if people try and get in my way......god help them.

Thanx to bird, lou, lottie, tim and the rest of y'all for fucking helping the past couple of days. it's been so goddamn hard, hopefully some of you will never have to experience this complete hopelessness. y'all rule SO SO SO much and good things will happen for each and everyone one of you, i know who my friends are. and arent. it could be so much worse, i'm grateful that i'm alive and that i was given this chance to live and breathe. i could be in a wheelchair or severely disabled, or caught up in the tsunami problems, or even dead. but im not, so i have to be grateful for that

gonna start running tomorrow or something, lose a bit of weight and start to feel alive again. been dehumanised for so long, i just wanna start living again.

sorry for the drama of my first post, just thought i'd set the scene of the story.....

peace out and look after yourselves

Gaz :)

born_to_lose_live_to_win@hotmail.com